We’ve al been there- you wake up in the morning once your alarm goes off and dismiss it for another 5 minutes. You lay there thinking about the events to come in the day ahead, maybe you have an important meeting, maybe you have to drop your kids off at your parent’s house, maybe you don’t have anything to do at all. You get up, make yourself your tea/coffee/whatever it is you drink in the morning, and you sit enjoying the 5 minutes you have to yourself to sip your coffee and reflect on how you feel about today. You feel shitty, you feel like the pants you put on today are way too tight, therefore you must have gained weight. You feel bad because you were standoffish to your significant other the night before, but that’s only because you’re insecure about them realizing you’re nothing special and moving on to someone better.
STOP right there. Did you know that if you start your day with negative thoughts, you’re basically planning how the rest of your day is going to go?
So what if you took all of those negative conceptions that you imagined in your head, and turned them into something good?
Instead of dreading the day ahead, see it as a new day with endless possibilities. Instead of thinking about how shitty you feel because you may or may not have gained weight, think about the coffee you are drinking. Think about the fact that you like the outfit you’re wearing. Maybe you did consume a lot of junk food the night before, think about the good things you are going to eat today. Think about what good things you can say to compliment your significant other today.
I know this seems like a difficult task; changing your entire mindset. Our thoughts are generated by our feelings. If we feel bad, we are going to think bad thoughts and if we feel good, we will think good thoughts. If we can become aware of our feelings, maybe we can teach ourselves how to change those feelings. Here’s an example..
When my boyfriend and I first started dating, we were the typical can’t keep their hands off of each other, honeymoon phase to the extreme couple. I have always been the jealous type, I mean maybe it stems from never having a secure male influence in my life but HEY that’s a whole other thing. My boyfriend is older and he had been through many of life’s experiences before I had, also meaning he had been with his share of women. I had been with some guys, but after hearing that he was a bit of a ‘player’ by definition (at least in the past), I grew insecure. At this point in my life, I was sure of myself and who I was as a person. I knew I wanted to be in a relationship and I knew the type of guy that I was interested in. When I met my boyfriend, things just clicked and I knew he was someone I could see becoming my partner for life, but as with most situations, I had an ‘approach with caution’ outlook on the dating scene.
There were many times I was jealous, irrational, and plain misunderstanding to when a random girl would message him or his ex would come up in conversation. I felt jealous, and I didn’t like the person that I was becoming and I knew I had to alter my thinking about the situation otherwise I might lose him. It’s not like he was even doing anything bad. He would always tell me if someone texted him (which didn’t even happen often) and he told me one week into meeting about his ex and that she was still messaging him (he said he did this in order to build trust). So in retrospect, he had never done anything wrong but here I was still thinking negative and I knew this had to change. Whenever a girl from his past (or any girl for that matter) would come up in conversation, I would think good things immediately instead of bringing the vibe down to negative. “He chose me over these girls” “He must really trust me if he’s telling me these personal things about his life.”
All it literally took was changing my mindset to start producing positive instead of negative thoughts and in no time, he was actually applauding me for how trusted he had been feeling.
It’s like the scene in the movie About Time (2013) with Rachel McAdams and Domhnall Gleeson where Gleeson’s character Tim is going through the events of his day and associating them with negative thoughts, clearly making the scenes look that much more depressing.
He then went through the events of the day again, showing the exact same sequence of scenes but instead narrating with a positive outlook on his day. His mood and his feelings had clearly changed dramatically after looking at what seemed to be a bad day, with a positive point of view.
Imagine if you did this EVERYDAY for the rest of your life. How much different would your life be?