Who am I, really?

Who am I, really?

Sometimes it take years and years and years to realize that everything you want out of life-everything you’ve been working towards and setting your goals towards for the last decade isn’t quite what you want out of life anymore. Maybe you switched your career goals, maybe you decided that you’re not in love with your significant other anymore, or on the other hand you could be single as a Pringle and decide you want to settle down. Whatever decisions we end up making in life, I believe that we, as humans, are all CONSTANTLY changing and evolving and therefore what we wanted a few days, months or even years ago, isn’t necessarily the same as what we want now.

This revolution came to me when I realized that everything I was working towards for myself was something that I was ‘supposed’ to be working towards by virtue of societal norms.

Go to school, get a job, get a mortgage, all I’m really doing is dying. –I could be the one by: Avicii

In the western world, we are taught from a young age that going to school and getting the best degree you can possibly get is the ‘right thing to do.’ If you decide not to go to school, if you have a baby young, if you want to become an actor or a singer or anything that is remotely more difficult than going to school and getting a degree to lead you straight into a job, you are frowned upon and seen as a societal delinquent for not following the rules.

I used to believe that I needed to do everything in my power to please those around me. I grew up in a single-parent household where at one point, we had no car, no couches, no T.V and a parent working 3 jobs just to put food on the table. I believed that I had to go to school and ‘become someone’ so that I would never have to work 3 jobs to support my family, and I would never be in the situation I was in growing up. I got my first job at age 16 and worked hard to save my money. I paid for my 4 years of University, my college post-grad diploma, my car and pretty much everything else on my own. I bought into the belief that in order to be successful, I would need to keep going to school, keep working, and continue to pay bills for the rest of my life, as long as I was able to afford a nice set of clothes and a decent car;  I must be living.

I landed my first ‘big girl job’ recently and I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed it. It’s what I went to school for, and I definitely felt like a valued employee for everything I was doing for the company. I brought my different flavors of tea to work everyday and continued to obsessively order beauty products and subscription boxes online. I continued to look for deals for wineries and read my ‘fine wine’ books, educating myself on wine from all over the world.

It wasn’t until about 3 months into my job when I started to follow a few subscription box bloggers and amazingly read about their successes turning their hobbies into full-time jobs. I liked my job, but what if I could make my hobbies something that I do ALL of the time, instead of leaving them as just hobbies? What if I could get out of the 9-5 trap that society convinces us we need to be a part of in order to sustain some kind of living?

If you asked me 5 years ago if I could see myself starting a blog and posting about my favorite things in the world (tea, wine and sub boxes), I would laugh DIRECTLY in your face. But that’s what I’m talking about, people change SO much in 5 years. We grow, we become more and more of ourselves than we ever were before. Talking about the things that I love for other people to appreciate and read about truly satisfies me and makes waking up every morning that more gratifying. I have made many changes over the years, but I think the most positive one I ever could have made was pushing myself to ignore conformity and do something I wanted to do for a change. I only have had this blog for about a week and already I feel elated and I truly look forward to writing about my favorite things on a daily basis.

My wish for ALL of you is that you can all find whatever it is in life that will make you most happy.

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